Who Am I?

My name is Bailey Saxmundham.  I am an avatar in the virtual world of Second Life.  I enjoy shopping, dancing, music and exploring new places.  I have worked as a host, DJ and venue manager.  I have children despite being a pixel sex virgin.  I have owned a shop.  I have a home and a pixel cat.

All of the above statements are more about what I am rather than who I am.  I am not sure who I am.  I am a person who registers somewhere in the transgender arena.  I represent mostly as female in Second Life these days, though I do have avatars who have male and female bodies.  I find it hard to be Bailey as a male avatar; it doesn't make sense to me and makes me feel very uncomfortable.

It's a difficult path to walk - just as it is in real life.  Second Life has a large focus on sexual activities and partnering.  I have yet to meet anyone who is interested in a relationship with someone like me, someone who is mixed gender.  I am not alone in gender swapping in Second Life, but not everyone admits it.  I don't judge those who hide their true selves, I can understand why they do it.

In real life I have a male body; in fact, I look really masculine.  I do, however, have very feminine mannerisms and a feminine voice.  It can be quite difficult for people to accept apparently; neither straight communities nor gay communities know quite where I fit - though it is often the gay community who have the biggest struggle as they continue their search for the Holy Grail of gay partners - straight looking, straight acting.  For years the way I sound has caused me to be the subject of much hilarity and revulsion.

As I get older and time moves on from my breakdown, I have realised something...I don't care how I am perceived or how people think of me.  I am the one who has to live with being me - whoever that may be.

When it comes down to it one thing is certain - I am me.